Constructive feedback raises a problem in a way that helps the other person fix it. It is specific, based on what you observed, and focused on what happens next. Done well, it improves performance, clarifies expectations, and builds trust. Done badly, it feels like criticism and damages the relationship.
Most people find the opening and the questions hardest. In 1,724 feedback practice sessions on VirtualSpeech this year, asking purposeful questions was the weakest of the five skills we score in our main SBI scenarios, averaging 5.8 out of 10. Only about one in four people explicitly asked permission before giving feedback, and those who did scored 0.7 points higher overall.
This guide covers what constructive feedback is, the SBI model, a step-by-step approach with examples, the most common mistakes, and what our data shows about how quickly people improve.
What is constructive feedback?
Feedback tells people what is going well, what isn’t, and what to do next. Positive feedback (praise and recognition) raises morale. Criticism points out a mistake in a way that can feel personal. Constructive feedback sits between them: it raises an issue honestly, but in a way that is less personal and focused on a solution.
Good constructive feedback is:
- Specific: it names exactly what happened.
- Based on observations and facts, not assumptions about motives.
- Solution-focused: it ends with a plan.
Why it matters
People want it. In a 2014 study reported in Harvard Business Review, 57% of people said they preferred corrective feedback to praise (43%). Constructive feedback:
- Improves performance and growth. It shows people how to progress and that the organisation cares about their development.
- Clarifies expectations, giving people direction and purpose.
- Aligns the team with the organisation’s goals.
- Improves relationships by dealing with tension before it grows.
The three Cs
Feedback lands when the person giving it has:
- Credibility: you understand their work and have seen it yourself.
- Candour: you are polite and respectful, but you don’t avoid the issue.
- Care: they can tell you’re saying it to help them, not yourself.
The SBI model, and where people get it wrong
SBI (Situation, Behaviour, Impact), developed by the Center for Creative Leadership, is the simplest way to make feedback specific and fair:
- Situation: when and where it happened. “In Tuesday’s client meeting…”
- Behaviour: what the person did, as you observed it. “…you interrupted the client twice while she was explaining the budget…”
- Impact: the effect it had. “…and she didn’t raise her other concerns, so we still don’t know what’s blocking sign-off.”
Then ask for their view: “How did it feel from your side?”
In our two most-used SBI practice scenarios, describing the situation, behaviour and impact averaged 6.2 out of 10, with only 18% of sessions scoring 8 or above. The weakest skill, though, came after the SBI statement: asking purposeful questions, at 5.8.
When our AI suggested how to improve an SBI description, its notes most often asked for:
| What the feedback asked for | Share of improvement notes |
|---|---|
| More specific or concrete detail | 56% |
| A clearer impact | 48% |
| A clearer description of the behaviour | 36% |
| A clearer situation | 34% |
| Clearer separation of the three parts | 32% |
| Fewer interpretations or assumptions | 28% |
A note can mention more than one thing, so the shares add up to more than 100%.
How to give constructive feedback: 6 steps
1. Prepare
- Agree on goals in advance. Feedback is easier when you’ve already agreed what good looks like, through regular one-to-ones or quarterly goals.
- Invite, don’t summon. “Can we catch up at 3pm tomorrow about the project?” feels very different from “Come to my office at 3pm.”
- Do it in private, and in person where you can, or on video. Email is easily misread.
- Be timely. Feedback loses its impact when the event is no longer fresh.
2. Ask permission and set the tone
Asking permission gives the other person some control and makes them more open to what follows. Try “Can I share an observation about Tuesday’s meeting?” or “Is now a good time to talk about the handover?”
Few people do it. In the sessions where our AI feedback said clearly whether permission was asked, only about one in four people asked. Those who did scored 7.0 overall, against 6.3 for those who didn’t.
3. Describe what happened using SBI
State the situation, the behaviour you observed, and its impact (see the SBI model below). Stick to observations, not interpretations. “You finished the report two days after the deadline” is an observation; “you didn’t seem to care about this project” is a guess about motives.
Describe actions, not personality. Instead of “you seemed uninterested in Monday’s presentation”, say “during Monday’s presentation you were on your phone several times”.
4. Ask, and listen
Ask for their view before you suggest a fix: “How did that meeting feel from your side?” or “What got in the way?” People often identify the problem and the solution themselves.
This is the step people skip most. Asking purposeful questions was the lowest-scoring skill in our main SBI scenarios (5.8 out of 10), and 29% of sessions scored below 5 on it.
5. Agree a solution together
- Ask: “What could you do differently next time?”
- Offer your own suggestions and ask what they think of them.
- Keep it to one or two issues. Several at once is discouraging and hard to act on.
- Agree clear, measurable goals, and ask how you can help.
6. Close and follow up
Summarise what you’ve agreed, end on a genuine note of confidence in them, and set a date to review progress. Regular feedback, not just an annual review, makes each conversation easier.
Should you start with praise?
Only if it is genuine and relevant. The “feedback sandwich” (praise, criticism, praise) often backfires: people learn to wait for the “but”, and the praise sounds insincere. Give positive feedback often and on its own merits, and when you need to raise an issue, raise it clearly. Avoid joining praise and criticism with “but” or “however”: “Your analysis was excellent, but…” cancels out the first half.
Constructive feedback examples
Each example below turns a vague or personal comment into specific, SBI-based feedback, followed by a question that opens the conversation.
| Situation | Instead of | Try |
|---|---|---|
| Missed deadline | “You’re always late with things.” | “The client report was due Friday and arrived on Tuesday. The client chased me twice and we had to move their review meeting. What got in the way?” |
| Working in isolation | “You’re not a team player.” | “On the last project, you worked on section four without checking in. Clive did the same work in parallel, which cost us two days. How could we make sure that doesn’t happen again?” |
| Overstepping | “You need to stop taking over.” | “I’ve noticed you’ve been finishing the new starters’ tasks for them this month. I know you’re trying to help. The effect is that they aren’t learning the system, and your own work is slipping. What would helping them look like without doing it for them?” |
| Interrupting | “You’re rude in meetings.” | “In this morning’s planning meeting, you interrupted Sam three times before he finished. He stopped contributing after that. Were you aware of it?” |
| Low contribution | “You’re not pulling your weight.” | “In the last two group projects, your sections came in after the deadline and others rewrote them. The team is frustrated. What’s been making it hard to contribute?” |
| Presentation | “Your presentations aren’t great.” | “In Monday’s update you read from your notes for most of it, and people stopped asking questions. Would it help to rehearse the next one together?” |
Positive feedback works the same way. “Great job” is pleasant but tells people nothing. “In today’s client call, you summarised the three options in two minutes and the client chose one on the spot. That saved us a week” tells them exactly what to repeat.
Common mistakes
- Jumping straight to the fix. Telling people what to do before asking what happened. It was the weakest skill in our data.
- Being vague. “Your attitude needs work” gives the person nothing to change. When our AI suggested how to improve an SBI description, 56% of its notes asked for more specific or concrete detail.
- Leaving out the impact. Without the impact, feedback sounds like a personal preference. Nearly half (48%) of the improvement notes on SBI mentioned the impact.
- Interpreting instead of observing. “You didn’t care about the deadline” is a guess. Say what you saw. 28% of improvement notes flagged interpretations or assumptions.
- Avoiding the issue to spare feelings. Problems usually grow, and become harder to raise later.
- Only giving feedback to people who are struggling. High performers want to know how to progress too, and may leave if they don’t.
- Forgetting positive feedback. Good work can start to feel like it’s simply expected. Recognising it reinforces it.
- Too many issues at once. Pick the one or two that matter most.
How to get better: practise, and prepare your SBI
Feedback skills improve quickly with practice. Of 335 people who repeated a feedback scenario on their own account, 67% scored higher the second time. The biggest gains went to those whose first attempt went badly.
| First attempt score | People | Average change on second attempt | Share who improved |
|---|---|---|---|
| Below 5 | 72 | +2.5 | 93% |
| 5 to 6 | 47 | +1.2 | 81% |
| 6 to 7 | 70 | +0.3 | 67% |
| 7 to 8 | 103 | −0.2 | 55% |
| 8 or above | 43 | −0.4 | 35% |
Not every skill improves at the same speed. Asking questions and asking permission improved fastest, by about 0.9 points each. The SBI description itself improved least, by 0.4.
The lesson: the conversational habits (asking permission, asking questions) come quickly once you know they matter. A precise SBI statement is harder to produce on the spot, so write it down before the conversation: one sentence each for the situation, the behaviour and the impact.
As with most practice, people retry less than they should. In 60% of cases, people tried a feedback scenario only once.
Frequently asked questions
What is an example of constructive feedback?
“The client report was due on Friday and arrived on Tuesday. The client chased me twice and we had to move their review meeting. What got in the way?” It names the situation, the behaviour and the impact, then asks for the other person’s view.
What is the SBI feedback model?
SBI stands for Situation, Behaviour, Impact. You describe when and where something happened, what the person did that you observed, and the effect it had. It was developed by the Center for Creative Leadership.
Should you use the feedback sandwich?
Usually not. Wrapping criticism in praise makes the praise sound insincere and the message less clear. Give genuine praise separately, and raise issues directly and kindly.
What is the hardest part of giving constructive feedback?
Asking good questions. In our 1,724 practice sessions, purposeful questions averaged 5.8 out of 10, the lowest of the five skills in our main SBI scenarios.
How do you start a feedback conversation?
Ask permission: “Can I share an observation about yesterday’s meeting?” In our data, people who asked permission scored 0.7 points higher overall than those who didn’t.
How can you get better at giving feedback?
Practise, ideally with feedback on each skill, and retry when it goes badly. People who scored below 5 on their first attempt improved by 2.5 points on their second.
How we did this analysis
We analysed 1,724 completed roleplays from 1 January to 13 October 2026 across four VirtualSpeech library scenarios: Giving Feedback (SBI): Collaboration Issue, Giving Feedback (SBI): The Overstepper, Giving Feedback (SBI): Lack of Contribution, and Difficulty Giving Feedback (a coaching conversation).
- Who: 703 accounts at 101 organisations: university students (752 sessions), individual learners (665) and employees at companies and public bodies (307).
- Scoring: AI scored each session from 0 to 10 overall and on five skills. Skill averages in this article come from the two most-used SBI scenarios (1,201 sessions), which share the same five skills.
- Feedback notes: for asking permission and SBI, we analysed the written feedback our AI gave after each English-language session (981 sessions). Figures on asking permission use only the sessions where the feedback said clearly whether permission was asked.
- Second attempts: some organisations share one login between several people, so we used only individual accounts (335 people who repeated a scenario).
- Excluded: anonymous free-trial sessions, internal and test accounts, and sessions with no valid score.
- Limits: scores come from AI, not human assessors. We are running a study comparing our AI scores with certified coaches. Differences between people who asked permission and those who didn’t show an association, not proof that asking permission caused the higher score.
All data was anonymised and aggregated.
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